Weekend Away

Our church weekend away in Dorset was great! It made a real difference having an extra night. It meant we didn't have to cram in two services on the Sunday and then leave to get back by Sunday night. We had loads of free time. It was fabulous to hang out with lots of people, swim, read and play touch rugby. I reluctantly drew the line at football.

Spiritually it was a very challenging and encouraging weekend as well. I know lots of people have already blogged about what God was saying to them. I just loved the video interview with the guy that founded Guardian Angels in New York. He spoke with such passion and commitment about his cause and his belief that he could change the lives of young men and women by bringing them on board and convincing them about his cause. In a society where Christianity is considered by some to be a private thing that should not be discussed in public, his passion serves to call into question the depth of our belief in our claims. Do I honestly believe that there will be eternal consequences for my friends and family who refuse to believe that there is a God who loves them and who wants to enter into a relationship with them? If I do, what am I doing about it?

The talk on "fear" was a good one too. I have commented before that I think I carry perhaps more than my fair share of (hidden) fears because of growing up in Northern Ireland. I have been reflecting on a new one that I haven't really recognised before. The fear that if my life did take a nose dive and I did have to deal with hard stuff, would I have as much faith as I think I would have? Would I still be able to say God is good, God is always good? It's easy to say now when everything is, and has pretty much always been, good. For example, I believe that God's hand is over the little life forming in my womb. I believe that He has reassured me that he/she will live and will be healthy. However, I don't like to think about that too much. I don't want to trust completely in it and somehow take things for granted. What if I am wrong? What if everything doesn't turn out well? Will I believe that I must have misheard or misunderstood? Or, will I doubt that God can be trusted?

We have had the 20 week scan. Everything seems to be fine. Lots of NADs. No Abnormality Detected. Baby is a bit small for dates so I may be a week out. My plans to have it before my 30th seem to be slipping away.... guess I'm not in control after all.